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Why coaching should be uncomfortable.

Successful leaders know implicitly that all their challenges and problems do not miraculously disappear, just because they are successful. They know bigger and more complex challenges are just around the corner. If you want to reach the next level of success, you need to be ready to face challenges much bigger than what you face today.

A powerful coach will challenge and provoke your thinking. They will say things to you that no one else would dare say to you. They will get you to surface your deepest fears and your wildest aspirations. They will push you to do what you do not dare do alone. They will push you beyond your comfort zone. They will push you until you are on the verge of pushing back. They will take you to the point where you want to walk away. They will make you feel uncomfortable.

A powerful coach knows that for you to grow and transform, it requires you to go beyond your current capacity.

How uncomfortable is your coach making you?

Most leaders would agree that they want the best talent on their team.

Indeed, a lot of effort and investment of time and money is given to recruiting high performers.

Sadly, too often what follows is the scenario where the leader hires the person they believe in and then sits back to see what they can do.

This scenario is far too common and fails to appreciate that growing and retaining talent requires leaders to develop their people, not just manage them.

Here is 4 simple strategies for retaining top talent.

Personal Development Plans: These can include future career goals, skill assessments, and tailored strategies for achieving professional growth. When employees have personalised development plans then subsequent discussions and feedback sessions become more valuable. It is an opportunity for leaders to provide guidance, support, and resources tailored to individual needs.

Strength Sessions: Instead of spending excessive time highlighting and improving weaknesses, focus on discussing and enhancing specific strengths. This approach can lead to significant improvements compared to minor improvements in weaknesses. Share insights with your employees on their top talents and discuss strategies to leverage their strengths.

Authentic Feedback: Ensure that there is regular and consistent two-way feedback, which forms part of a continuous process that helps shape the company culture. Regular check-ins, performance reviews, and informal conversations should form part of the organisation’s DNA and helps foster trust and bolster employee psychological safety.

Leader As Coach: Adopting a coaching leadership style that guides, empowers, and develops individuals and teams is more engaging and empowering than directing or controlling. This approach aligns well with modern organisational needs, where adaptability, creativity, and employee engagement are critical to overall success.

Implementing practices that reinforce a retention strategy for top talent is smart business. Leaders who take their eye off the ball or fail to deploy meaningful business processes could lose their high performers. By focussing on these strategies you not only retain your top people, you’ll also help build the mindset, beliefs and inner drive to go beyond their preconceived limitations and achieve more. Now that’s surely a formula for success in any business environment.

What level of leadership attrition would concern you?

According to McKinsey, 50% of new leaders will fail within 18 months.

But why would this be the case?

Leadership failure, also referred to as leader derailment, can be vexing for organisations to understand, and there is quite simply a plethora of potential reasons why a new leader might fail.

However, one clue might lie in a Keller and Meany report that states 75% of new executives feel unprepared for their new role.

Combine this with the fact that many organisations take a “hands-off” approach to onboarding a new leader, treating it as a one-off event, then the 50% attrition stat doesn’t appear to be such a damning statistic.

It may be awkward to broach the subject of coaching and mentoring to an incoming senior leader, but it’s an important discussion to be having.

When asked if they are great listeners, most leaders would likely say yes. But how accurate is this self-assessment, and how can they truly know their listening capabilities?

In our daily interactions, many of us are preoccupied with waiting for our turn to speak, looking for that brief moment when we can steer the conversation in our preferred direction. This tendency undermines the value of the other person’s words, preventing us from fully understanding them. How can we help someone address their challenges, fears, or frustrations if we don’t genuinely grasp their issues?

Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, emphasised the importance of seeking to understand before being understood. Achieving this requires purposeful listening, which involves developing a range of skills, from interpreting subtle cues to managing your own emotional responses. It demands both empathy and a high level of self-awareness.

To listen with purpose, leaders need to master three key types of listening skills:

1. Cognitive: Focus on paying attention to both explicit and implicit information, fully understanding and integrating it.

2. Emotional: Demonstrate calmness and compassion, managing your internal voice and emotional reactions, such as disagreement or boredom.

3. Behavioural: Show interest and understanding through verbal and nonverbal communication.

Leadership consultants Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman offer a helpful metaphor for listening with purpose: “You’re not a sponge merely absorbing information. Instead, think of yourself as a trampoline that gives the speaker’s thoughts energy, acceleration, height, and amplification.”

For leaders, the imperative is therefore mastering and embracing genuine, purposeful listening. By doing so, they not only cultivate a healthier listening environment but also have the potential to transform someone’s thinking and contributions.

As a leader, you can sometimes feel as if you are all alone, yet you aren’t actually lonely.

50% of CEOs experience feelings of loneliness in their careers, and 61% percent believe that this feeling hinders their performance, according to research.

For many senior leaders, becoming a CEO or getting on to the board is a dream come true. It provides power, attonomy, prestige, and associated wealth, so how could there be any downside?

Many factors can make it lonely at the top, from the burden of decision making, fear of vulnerability to imposter syndrome and sacrificing personal relationships. All this can lead to many senior leaders and CEO’s wondering if the rewards are all worthwhile.

Thankfully, leaders don’t need to be lonely forever. By being proactive about leadership development and incorporating relationship-building strategies, there is a balance to be struck to alleviate the feelings of isolation and loneliness.

What strategies have you used to overcome loneliness?

How hard could being a leader be?

All you needed was that one chance to prove yourself. Maybe you were lucky and got that illusive promotion. You step into the role, determined to show everyone your worth as a strong leader.

This is the mindset many leaders adopt. But inevitably, the honeymoon phase wears off. The realisation sinks in that there is no leadership rule book. Most leaders will testify that leadership is hard.

Whether you’re already a successful leader wondering why your job is so hard, or you’re about to step into your first leadership role, mastering self awareness, fostering a culture of open dialogue and creating positive energy is arguably key first steps.

Leadership is hard. But great leadership is worth the effort.